On Navigating the Abyss

1. Teri's Story - 'Beyond Fixing'

Teri Potter & Catherine Borgman-Arboleda

Teri and Catherine share their experiences and discuss challenges faced by parents, the importance of emotional support, and the journey of self-awareness that can help both parents and children navigate difficult times. Teri shares her personal story about her daughter's struggles and the lessons learned about being present and supportive without trying to fix the situation.

Navigating the Crisis: Teri talks about the early warning signs and the year-long crisis before her daughter’s situation escalated. She describes the emotional toll it took on her and how the whole family was impacted. One of the first steps in her journey was realizing that the real crisis for her wasn't just the external problems, but her own emotional and mental state.
   
The Importance of Sitting with Big Feelings:
Teri highlights a key realization: her daughter needed her to sit beside her without trying to fix her emotions. Learning to allow space for big feelings, without judgment or interference, was a transformative moment for both of them. Teri discusses how this shift in mindset ultimately helped strengthen their connection.
 
Self-Awareness and Emotional Separation: One of the most profound lessons Teri shares is the importance of separating her own emotions from her daughter’s experience. She describes the process of reflecting on her own fears, expectations, and past trauma to avoid projecting them onto her child. Teri’s journey involved learning to step back and allow her daughter the space to express herself without feeling responsible for fixing everything.

The Illusion of Control and Letting Go of Expectations: Teri talks about the societal pressures and parental expectations to mold children into a specific version of success. She shares her daughter’s choice to change her name and identity at age 12, symbolizing her desire for autonomy. For Teri, it was a wake-up call to let go of the idea that her child was a reflection of her own unfulfilled dreams.

Finding Peace Through the Present Moment: Teri and Catherine reflect on how difficult it can be to be present with our children when they're going through extreme emotional turmoil. Teri talks about how understanding the "is-ness" of a situation—seeing it for what it truly is, not through the lens of fear or projections—was pivotal in finding peace in the moment.
 
Being the Answer: Both hosts agree that parents are in a uni

TERI
Website: https://teripotter.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teripottercoach/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/teripottercoach

teri@teripotter.com

CATHERINE
Website: https://www.collaborative-insights.com/conscious-coaching
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/collaborative_insights_coach/

catherine@collaborative-insights.com

Resources:

- Conscious Parenting (Dr. Shefali Tsabary)
- Compassionate Inquiry (Dr. Gabor Maté, Sat Dharam Kaur)

Here are a few international resources:

  • United States: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or text HOME to 741741
  • United Kingdom: Samaritans: 116 123
  • Canada: Crisis Services Canada: 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645
  • Australia: Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14
  • International Helplines: Please visit www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html for a full list of helplines worldwide.
  • https://www.helpguide.org/find-help

Please remember, there is always support available, and reaching out can be the first step in finding help. You are not alone, and support is there for you and your family.

People on this episode